Enjoy !
Honest to goodness, when I was 6 years old, after moving from Michigan and my first crush, I vowed I would marry a red head. My crush was a red head, and the idea was intriguing and salved my heartbreak, so when I announced to my Mom one Sunday, I’m going to marry a red head! I meant it more than I knew she understood. I grinned at my secret resolve, and life went on.
I proceeded to have many crushes. Most of which were not red heads. And I vowed to marry them also, even going so far as to ask them to buy me a promise ring – usually from Claire’s – I was a hopeless romantic, and I think deep down I knew I wouldn’t marry them, so perhaps sealing it with a ring would make me feel better. Momentarily. Until I eventually knew it couldn’t continue. And I’d move on to another interesting beau. I once teased with the idea of marrying my boyfriend when I was 17, but that was not a healthy relationship, and at one point, during our final break up, he texted me and asked me what I really wanted, my answer? To move to Utah and marry a red head when I was 19 years old. I wish I saved that text! He was understandably miffed.
I moved to Utah on New Year’s Day, 2009. I drove down with my new serious boyfriend (cue eye roll), and he helped me feel a connection to home while I adjusted to college life. I lived in Salt Lake, and he lived in Provo. We took a break during the fall semester of 2008, but reconnected before he came home to visit for Thanksgiving and Christmas. He wanted to propose to me during the Summer, but I wasn’t sure. During his Thanksgiving visit, I told him I might be ready to commit, and he told me that a new friend suggested he probably shouldn’t propose to me again if I was noncommittal. That new friend was a cute girl who shared a calling with him…uh, okay….he wasn’t totally wrong though and we didn’t become engaged during Christmas.
A week or 2 after I moved to Utah, Seth and I decided to take our marriage interest to the Lord and to the temple. I actually designed and picked out a ring with him before we went to the temple. A sinking feeling hit me after doing baptisms for the dead, and I knew it wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t want to leave my only connection to home and closest friend, but I knew I couldn’t lie and marry him. We still celebrated my birthday together on January 19, which I am grateful for, and he showed me the ring that night. I was surprised it didn’t fit and I didn’t like the design I chose. Another sign we weren’t fit for each other. I still bugged him and visited him, until finally, on Valentine’s Day, he said enough is enough, and we didn’t get together again. Of course I was already going on dates (are you surprised?), and had a feeling something special might just be around the corner. This time I was determined not to get caught up in the romance of a relationship, I wanted to know what it was like to be friend’s first – so this was my goal with my next suitor.
I was involved in choir, acting, and improv at LDSBC. A friend who shared the same classes and same friends invited me to a party at his house on February 13. He was apparently in the invitational mood, because when a stranger helped him load his guitar into his car, he invited the stranger and gave him his number. The stranger, named Joseph, wasn’t really interested, especially since he didn’t know this guy, but it was nice to get an invite.
The night came and Joseph had nothing to do. What the heck! I’ll go to the party he thought (basically). And made the drive to Jason’s (the friend) house. But when he got there, his 12 year old brother, wrapped in a towel answered the door. Joseph felt awkward. Jason wasn’t there yet, and he felt like he was intruding. Someone was holding Jason and half the party up looking for desserts and goodies to make at the party when she learned there was only pizza…she was me, of course.
After choosing brownies and other things I can’t remember, we carpooled to Jason’s house, bringing him late to his own party, oops! Joseph got up inside to leave and approached the door, I was the first one outside who came to the door. Joseph opened it, we made eye contact and zing! I shook his hand, introduced myself, and humbly thought “here’s the hot red head I’m going to marry, the one I’ve been waiting for.” And he thought he might just stay a little longer. There were a couple of cute girls.
We didn’t initially hit it off after our first conversation. I asked him where he served his mission, he said Phoenix, AZ; I was excited because my Dad served there! Joseph sarcastically said he knew my Dad as a legend in Phoenix – which got me more excited because I didn’t pick up on the sarcasm – then I felt pretty dumb. Changing the subject, I tried to impress him with some of my quirks, and confessed that I smelled all 60 candles at a craft store in WA, this impressed other dates, but it only made him look at me cock-eyed. And that’s the first time I doubted my inspiration that he was the one. But I was definitely up for the challenge. A boy who wasn’t falling over my every word was a little deflating, nonetheless intriguing.
After making the brownies I searched the cabinets for caramel, we couldn’t find any, then Joseph impressed all of us by making caramel with brown sugar and butter. I was enamored and determined to find a way to get his positive attention! The night began. We played multiple improv games, board games, and played on basically not wanting to look at the time. Joseph and I seemed to keep the momentum going, enjoying the party, and coyly flirting, we finally realized it was 4:30 a.m. Dang.
Those who were left walked to their cars. I waited for Joseph when another boy at the party asked me out on a date, and I told him I just got out of a serious relationship, just as Joseph appeared out of no where to hear me say that. I was more than annoyed. So Joseph didn’t ask me out or give me his number, but we promised we’d befriend each other on Facebook. The next day was Valenetine’s day.
After a week, we were Facebook friends. I was eager to go out with him, but unsure how we’d get along without a group. He invited me to a black and white film, Mask of Zorro with Live Organ, in the De Jong theater at BYU. Awesome date idea! But I wanted to see him that week before I committed to driving to Provo with him (at least that was my excuse 😉). I told him we should have a picnic, but when Thursday came, it was clearly still February, so he ran an errand with me to Walmart instead (my idea was practical, not romantic…) He picked me up in an old, manual Jetta. And as I sat in the duct tape covered seats, I was baffled to be unimpressed with someone’s car for the first time. That sort of thing never bothered me before. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was a prank. It wasn’t, but It was an icebreaker, and I endeared to it quickly.
After picking out batteries, Joseph showed me these adorable 50 cent pies I had never noticed before. I loved them! (I thought he loved them too, and after years of putting them in stockings and gifting them to him, he finally confessed he didn’t love them haha!) We stopped at a little Mexican restaurant to pick up dinner and Joseph ordered in Spanish. His accent was on par, and I was swooning!
He had an arrangement to see the new Taken movie with his friend Marty that night (they always got together on Thursday), and I graciously invited myself. Thankfully he didn’t say no, and Marty didn’t mind I tagged along. Halfway through the movie the fire alarm went off and we were evacuated. We hung out at an arcade at the Gateway mall and then Barnes and Noble, where our first inside joke was made. After a while we made it back to the theater. Apparently they started the show again soon after and we missed the rest of the movie, but they gave us free tickets!
We enjoyed each other’s company and looked forward to our Saturday date. It worked out perfectly because I needed to sing at a devotional with the LDSBC choir the next day and could spend the night at my friend Jessica’s apartment. Side note: This was for a devotional and it gave the choir a warm up before we performed at the April 2009 Saturday LDS General Conference session. Every member got one extra ticket for family or friends, of which I ended up giving to Joseph.
The night came and it was a rollercoaster. Many fond moments we remember, and some brutal ones too. We’re both honest people. We were walking on campus and being too honest with each other. Mostly about our past relationships, and I made a comment about him “being a rebound”, which I guess I was trying to figure out and be honest with my own feelings, but in hindsight, I should have left that to myself. I also stopped holding his hand, so he felt rejected, and I felt confused. At the end of the date we both felt like we had ruined something. But neither of us wanted to fully believe it. So we decided to try again. I’m glad we did!
I’ll never forget the next day at my friend’s Single’s ward, we had an unusual lesson derived from an obscure quote about dating. The quote was something about not being too eager or you’ll turn your interested date off. I knew that related to me in the past, but wasn’t sure if it applied to my date with Joseph the night before. But it still worried me since we clearly weren’t on solid footing yet.
We were undeterred and kept seeing each other. Even though I was still going on dates with other guys, waiting for Joseph to claim exclusivity first, I was more and more sure I wanted to be with him. After my last date with another guy, I actually had him drop me off near Joseph’s place so I could walk there haha, I chose to have a candid conversation with Joseph. Previously he would say it was okay if I wanted to date other guys; now I believe he was just respecting my choices and protecting himself, but I was immature and always read into that as meaning he didn’t want to be exclusive with me. So, I finally, vulnerably, told Joseph I only wanted to date him. This was by the condo pool, and I still remember the lights somehow glimmered off a sly smile of his, and from then on, it was him and me. Our courtship was somewhat of a rollercoaster also, but we never stopped wanting to be together and soon realized the more time we spent together, the happier we were. This was encouraging and we knew marriage would be good for us that way. And it was and ever has been!
Here’s a list of dates to remember, our Engagement, my personal journal entries, and Wedding day!
Clark planetarium: we watched a U2 laser show, I tried holding his hand, but he wouldn't (maybe because I rejected him the first time...) it was still a fun date. We went to PF Changs afterwards with Megan and her boyfriend at the time. We enjoyed the food so much that we chose the restaurant for our wedding luncheon. He held my hand eventually 😁
Washington trip: I didn't want to drive alone to Washington, it was the end of March and we were barely exclusive. The night of, my toilet overflowed, clogged by my roommates who had fled the scene and I had to call management, thankfully they came before I had to leave. Joseph and I left at midnight and Joseph drove first while I slept. After I drove through a canyon while he was tossed about in the back of the van (seats were taken out to fit a twin bed We were picking up) we decided to pull into an ihop in Oregon for breakfast. That was fun! He met my family, and the first thing Brandon asked him is if "he had gay tendencies?" Wow, typical older brother! It was a good visit and I'm glad he came along! Then we went camping in Shoupe, Idaho with his Mom and sister and her family. Joseph taught me about the light of Christ while we watched for shooting stars and cuddled on top of the minivan. 😊
Easter Sunday: We were comfortable in our relationship and we had fun "letting our hair down" and taking pictures together on a beautiful Spring day in Memory Grove park. And the inside joke "the pope's buried in there" was born haha.
Spring formal for LDSBC. It was at the energy solutions arena. We went to crown burger first. I have never had more fun on a date and at a dance, and I went to a dance every weekend since I was 14 ! So that’s saying a lot. There was something electric about him. I thought he might kiss me that night, but he didn't, and I was okay with that. It was just so much fun.
Joseph kissed me for the first time while we talked on the brown leather couch. Mid sentence, he lifted my chin and gently kissed me. Ahhhh. It was sweet and romantic. 😊
Engagement
We both went to the temple in May to seek out the Lord for an answer in marriage. We felt good, and received other impressions later. One rainy night, we went for a drive and both kind of felt our relationship was heading towards marriage and that made things a little stressful. Joseph was especially trepidatious and he knew his Dad wouldn't be very supportive. We were driving and had a strained conversation. We were nervous, but we also mutually believed and felt it was time to make a decision in our relationship towards marriage. That's just how we were! At the end of the drive I thought we may break up, but I didn't want to believe it. We got back to the condo and went into different rooms to change to go to the pool. When he came out, the whole mood changed. He was excited! He received an answer to prayer. And I knew he felt good about getting married.
Joseph planned a trip to Washington to ask for my hand in marriage. It was a noble and knightly thing to do. I was impressed. But I believe the drive was more important than asking my Dad, because on the 14-hour trip, Joseph had to become sure of his decision to marry me. I told my Mom to make sure he picked out a ring. Little did I know that he would pick out an heirloom ring from my grandma that fit! He also got a bunch of food storage!
The Saturday or Sunday (June 6 or 7) after he came back, he proposed to me. We crossed the street to go to memory grove park, he knelt down, and asked me to marry him - of course I said yes, we already decided to get married, but I am SO grateful he gave me that "every girls' dream" moment. The ring was stuck in his pocket though, so he had to stand up, pull the ring out, kneel and start over again haha. It was adorable. A friend also honked and cheered as he drove by! I said yes and we had the shortest but most exhilarating kiss I can remember. The ring fit perfectly! I was on Cloud nine, and the Spirit had definitely blessed that moment and blessed our courage.
To celebrate we had breakfast burritos (still a family favorite) and sparkling cider! We called the temple and set a date for August 15, 2009.
Joseph found a small apartment for us that I moved into in July: 267 1/2 6th avenue 😊 $500 incl. Electricity + internet.
Our favorite engagement/summer dates were chasing thunderstorms and driving in the rain. Even while having to manually help the windshield wipers in the Jetta.
Journal (hard backed pink, green, orange striped) excerpts from our Courtship and Engagement:
Feb 21, 2009
Well, I'm going on a picnic tonight with Joe Paradis, I met him @ one of my friend's party, it was a super fun night, we stayed up until like 5am! It was great.
Feb 22, 2009
Okay, it is February, so the picnic idea didn't really work out... Went to WalMart and got 68 cent mini pies (so cute!)... Went to movie w/his friend (Taken, Marty)... Fire alarm halfway through movie... Walked around Gateway and Barnes and Noble... Laughed... Arcade (we're both competitive)... Finished movie.
Feb 25, 2009
I really need to remember to take it slow. I know I need to have that warm connection and friend trust before I should even think about kissing him.
March 3, 2009
He also plays the piano and sings! And bless his heart for singing with me tonight, that was really nice..."All I ask of you", he has a nice voice and he'd be perfect to sing duets with 🎶 But I'm also grateful he learned "Wishing you were somehow Here again" for me, and we'll try out for the LDSBC showcase! (We performed at the assembly hall March 19)
March 8, 2009
Priesthood blessing "your experience in Salt Lake will be a strength to you for the rest of your life." Joseph and I were having a spiritual discussion and I quoted him that night in my journal "The spirit always makes you tired... It is much stronger than us..." - Joe
May 7, 2009
-sometimes you'll hold your fork right and I'll just hold you - Joe... [ we] talked about sacrificing for each others needs, I now know so much better how to meet his needs and when I'm meeting them...
June 10, 2009
... I'd like to thank Joseph's Mom for reminding me to write my feelings and experiences down... Everyday I've learned more and it [ engagement] has become less stressful... Also, his Dad is warming up to us!
June 29, 2009
I feel like Bridezilla sometimes lol. I love Joseph so much, he is a wonderful man, but I seem to take out a lot on him for no real good reason...I know if I make it through this... We will benefit so much... As we entwine our hearts together. The connection we're developing is one that will last through eternity.
... He asked me to go home teaching with him. It was wonderful to see those girls and be there with Joseph fulfilling his responsibilities... We connected as true companions and we both really enjoyed it together... We also ended up visiting Sis. Sears, his neighbor in the complex. I was also blessed to find an apartment today (3rd and G). I'm grateful to be in this wonderful place of Salt Lake City, Utah.
July 10, 2009
When I was at work I had the feeling I should check my phone, and as I looked at it, someone was calling me (it's always on silent lol) and it was my Dad! He said, I wanted to let you know, that I know you love Joe, this is the right thing and you will continue to grow in love with each other...I am so grateful that Thou sent my Daddy, that was the best message I could receive... It made me so happy last night when Joseph planned our Honeymoon itinerary and reserved all our locations, I was so happy, it was great 😊
July 27, 2009
I love Joseph and we have so much fun. I love him and there is so much to learn! And I'm grateful we have chosen each other to be eternal companions and the Lord has also approved of it...I can't wait until we have our children (well I need to lol) but it'll be beautiful...
Wedding
August 15, 2009. It actually started raining that morning, which made taking pictures colder than you would expect in August. But raining on your wedding day is good luck and predicts great blessings from Heaven, which I totally believe 😉
The night before we had our separate Bachelor/Bachelorette parties. Amanda Spencer slept over in the little apartment on 6th avenue with me, she did my makeup in the morning and I curled my hair. It was nice to glean from her experience, she helped calm some of my nerves, and I'm grateful for her support.
I wore a blue blouse (same we took our Engagement photos in), a black skirt and black pumps into the temple. I also wore my wedding jewelry that I made out of simple pearl beads and Swarovski crystals, a simple one-strand necklace, and two- bead dangling earrings. Simple, but I loved how elegant they made me feel.
I wore a princess style dress. I was so determined not to buy a princess style dress, I only tried on mermaid style dresses. My friend Mary Keller insisted I try a princess dress she picked out, and as soon as I put it on, I was so giddy. There was honestly something magical about it. It was THE dress. I know it sounds silly, but if you've ever experienced that, you know what I mean. My favorite parts about the dress was the beading on the waist and the satin ribbon lining the toule at the bottom of the skirt. 😁😁😁
At the temple though, I wore my temple clothes, my wedding dress wasn't temple ready, but I was okay with that, I liked the straight modest dress that had little fanfare to distract from the ceremony.
The week before, we were in Washington for Carissa and JR's wedding, and I received my endowments. We also had an open house for friends and family in Washington, which my Mom beautifully organized. We used leftover flowers from Carissa's wedding and put them in beautiful royal blue glass vases (my favorite). A catered pasta meal and sandwiches. Josephs aunt and uncle Teri and Kerry also came.
While we were in Washington, Joseph ordered his wedding rings (one for regular wear, and one for active wear) on Amazon, and we just prayed they would come on time (Amazon prime 2-day shipping didn't exist yet, and we were super cheap, and poor haha). My job ended at the beginning of August and I had no time to look for a job, nor did I want to. So things were financially stressful for the first part of our marriage, and made for a funny honeymoon story - the $25 sweatshirt.
The day before our wedding. Joseph still hadn't gotten the rings. I was sad that it wouldn't be obvious we were married on our honeymoon. We were waiting in the celestial room for our turn to be sealed (over 60 weddings were happening that day!), we were sitting on a couch we would go back to often, when Joseph got up quickly and fast walked over to a temple worker (I believe it was his neighbor, Sis. Sears). He whispered something to her and she didn't hear very well so she loudly repeated it back to him, "a ring?" She said. I overheard and knew right away that he had the ring. He left it in his locker, so he had to go back and get it. The package came that morning or the night before. It was a wonderful surprise! I'm glad he didn't surprise me in the sealing room and that I found out before 😜
The ceremony was simple and wonderful. Initially we sat down on a bench and I wasn't sure if that's where we were supposed to be, so I sat away from Joseph and we weren't holding hands - this clearly concerned the sealer so one of the first things he asked is if we we sure this is what we wanted to do?? I'm glad he asked because I could answer confidently that I was and Joseph took my hand. We kneeled at the altar and looked in the mirrors, I remember that moment so well in my mind, that when I look back I can see how young we were. And how excited we were too 😊
After the ceremony we got changed into our wedding wear, while everyone waited outside to greet us. After the sisters helped zip up my dress and your the veil on, they had me look in the beautiful mirror in the bridal room, to look at myself and remember that moment. I was more excited to see my new husband then to look at myself, but I'm glad that I did, I can't describe the feeling, I was a daughter of God, in His house, and I felt as I looked in the mirror, that He was truly happy for me.
I was ready first and waited on another bench for Joseph. Joseph isn't a big fan of showy fanfare, and I wasn't sure what he would think of me in my dress. But when he walked down the hallway towards the bench and saw me in my dress (he looked incredibly debonair), his jaw dropped and his eyes lit up. I never felt more beautiful in his eyes. He was giddy, and we were ready to start our lives together!
My parents got us and we walked upstairs to go outside and see everyone. My Mom told us to wait on the stairs for a minute, so we waited and talked there, just soaking in the moment, both assuming someone would tell us when to go out. My Dad walked back in and asked what we were doing, and we said we were waiting...turns out, they just wanted us to wait until they got outside before we walked out. We were content to leave everyone waiting and to talk on those stairs forever haha. We walked out and took pictures with all of our family and friends. Then took beautiful pictures around the grounds.
We went back inside the temple to change for the luncheon. My Mom had left with my locker key so I waited for what felt like a long while a temple worker tracked down a master key. We took long enough in fact that as we walked into the luncheon everyone had started eating haha. Joseph's Mom paid for the luncheon- thank you Zon and Jeanne 😊 I remember some people made short toasts and we all day at one long table in PF Changs
I remember we had orange chicken and garlic noodles and a couple other dishes.
It was off to the reception! It was at a stake center behind the conference center and we held it outside. It was in the 40s that morning and warmed up to the 80s and sunny by 3pm.
Joseph also designed and ordered the cupcake wedding cake while we were in Washington. He designed the cake topper to look like the bodice of my dress and have beautiful sugar tiger lilies and other flowers that matched my bouquet, we got the flowers from Art Floral, and cake from So Cupcake.
Fun side note: Seth married the cute girl who counseled him not to propose to me. They were married a week after Joseph and I were. :D
The Lord is mindful of all of us and I’m in love with our Love Story!
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| At our outdoor reception :D |
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| The cake Joseph designed with So Cupcake. I never had a cupcake! lol |
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| At the LDSBC Dance, one of my fave pics! |
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| Our Easter date/fun photo shoot. |
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| Visiting my family in WA! |
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| The brownies glistening with the caramel :p |
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| We took this on our first "official date" at the De Jong theater :) |
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| Our first selfie! |
